So Quinn’s school’s summer day camp program ended last Friday. This means about three weeks of no childcare coverage before the new school year starts up again. I wish I could just take the time off and spend it with him, but with some work projects nearing an end and new ones starting up I just can’t do it. Thankfully a variety of grandparents are stepping up to the plate, which really is the next best thing to Mom or Dad. Possibly even better by Quinn’s estimation.
Thor’s mom is watching him this week. She was here for a couple days and just left to take him to her place for the rest of the week. And thus my adjustment begins again. Is it always this terrifying to watch your child drive off with someone else? Will I still have this pit in my stomach when he drives away in 15 years? 30 years? Will I ever not feel nauseous with worry? I have a sneaking suspicion the answer is “no”.

And just last night I was feeling overwhelmed with the chaos in my household, looking forward to some peace and quiet. Not only was “Ubie” (Grandma) here, but also Thor’s little sister and her boyfriend. And had been for a few days. I actually had this anxiety nightmare one night that Ubie defrosted all of my frozen bread. Why did you defrost the bread?? I freeze it so it doesn’t get moldy!!!, I cried in frustration in my dream as if this meant the very fabric of my life was going to fall to pieces. The bread must stay frozen until you’re ready to eat it! And believe it or not the dream got worse. Suddenly, I noticed that my kitchen was trashed — there were broken wine bottles strewn about, red wine stains ringing the counters, furniture was moved around and missing. I was screaming in anger at Thor’s sister who I assumed was the culprit. She just stared at me blankly. Thor’s parents were coddling and defending her. I felt like a crazy person. Has no one noticed that my kitchen looks like it’s straight out of an Augusten Burroughs story???!!! Am I losing my mind??? I woke up out of that one in a cold sweat. Understandably relieved that it was just a dream. Fast forward 24 hours and I wake up to the reality that the fridge door had been left open all night and all contents of the fridge were room temperature to warm. sigh

But now they’re gone and the house is quiet and I’m sad.